Quit Judging Me!

I hear it (and, if I'm being honest, think it) a lot - comments like "I wish people would quit judging me!"; "I feel so judged"; "they have no right to judge me!"

People who call themselves christians can often be heard to quote "judge not, that you be not judged". What don't get quoted any near as much are the numerous scripture that exhort us to speak up when we see someone doing the wrong thing.

Just what did Jesus mean when he said "judge not"? Did he mean "pretend you don't see blatant sin"? ... That would make him a hypocrite, considering the way he spoke to the Pharisees. As the son of God, Jesus certainly wasn't a hypocrite!

It's not my intent to write a sermon, but I'd like to make a few observations. Often when I hear "I wish people would quit judging me," it comes from someone who is headed for trouble, but resents the words of caution from those who love them. I've been the one headed for trouble myself - the one who wouldn't listen. Those urging caution were expressing their love and concern for me... something the bible tells us we should do when we are able. For me to call their concern "judging" was arrogant in the extreme.

Consider an analogy... you're standing at the edge of the road with a friend, waiting to cross. You've checked for cars and decided it's all clear (or maybe you haven't even checked). As you begin to step out, your friend, who has spotted a truck flying round the corner, yells "Look out!" If you walk right out onto the road while berating your friend for judging you, you'll become crow food. In an act of pig-headedness you not only lose your own life, but leave your friend traumatised.

Most of us are smart enough to stop when someone yells "look out!" while we're crossing the road. Not many of us are smart enough to stop when a true friend gently suggests that we're headed for an emotional or psychological train wreck that may cause great pain to others as well as ourselves. Instead, we step right out in front of that truck, all the while bemoaning the fact that we're being "judged".

And yet, when you or I are complaining about being judged, aren't we even more guilty? After all, when a friend urges us not to step out in front of a truck, they are simply observing a danger we haven't seen and trying to protect us from harm. They probably aren't thinking, "wow! She's so stupid stepping out in front of that truck - she deserves to get hurt." Yet when we accuse our friend of judging us, we assume that we understand the intent of their heart - something that God tells us only He can see. Warning a friend against an imminent emotional train wreck is rarely a pleasant exercise. The loving friend is unlikely to experience a buzz of satisfaction or that "high" that comes from a random act of kindness. In fact, someone who has the courage to speak up is more likely to end up rejected and possibly even publicly humiliated as a reward for their pains.

Jesus calls us to the ultimate challenge - turning His words inward on ourselves, not outward toward others. He didn't say "don't ever let anyone judge you". In fact, He told us to be like little children - teachable and humble.

So... if you ever have anything difficult to say to me, trying yelling "look out!" first - maybe then I'll stop and listen! :)

Walking Through the Valley of Shadow

Most of us face significant challenges through our lives. For some people, it seems life is just one long walk through the "valley of shadow" King David referred to in Psalm 23. For many of us, trials and tragedy can become a stumbling block for our faith. If we look carefully at what the bible says about God and humanity, then there is no need for us to be confused by our trials.

Among many other things, the bible is a story about choices and right and wrong. Often, it is a story about bad choices and their consequences. Freedom of choice was part and parcel of God making man in His Own Image. Sin and death and tragedy is part and parcel of man rejecting God's standards of right and wrong. The death and tragedy that inevitably result from sin touch not only the sinner, but all of humanity. Lies breed more lies, hate breeds more hate, and on it goes... only with God's help can we break that vicious cycle. We can choose to do right, but that doesn't mean we will be free from the pain that comes from other peoples sins.

Too often when I am hurt by life, I look for someone to blame. On a good day I may look inward to see if I am the source of my pain. Sometimes I am. If I'm not, I may look for someone else to blame. Life in this wretched world simply isn't that simple. As an analogy, it's like victims of the Chernobyl disaster trying to blame themselves for radiation sickness, or looking for some radioactive source in their own homes as the cause of their illness. Sin can be like a nuclear meltdown or pumping toxic waste into a waterway - the effects can be incredibly far-reaching and hard to predict. Unlike a nuclear meltdown, sin is so prevalent that it is almost impossible to find The Cause of many trials or tragedies that we face.

It is essential that we take responsibility for our own actions and inactions and repent of our wrong-doings. I believe it is destructive, however, to expect that righteousness will bring us physical comfort, peace and prosperity, and that the bad things that happen to us are *automatically* a result of our personal sin. Obeying God out of a sense of self-preservation doesn't exactly foster a close relationship with God... in fact it totally misses the point.

When tragedy strikes, we often respond by doing everything we (think we) can to prevent the same thing happening again. In doing so, we are often unconsciously saying "God abandoned me last time, so I'd better look after it myself this time round".

God doesn't promise His followers that they will never have to walk through the valley of shadow - in fact, He warns us not to be surprised by fiery trials and even told us to rejoice in them! Many of His most faithful witnesses suffered terribly, so why shouldn't we suffer also? Fear of pain and suffering can be incredibly debilitating and really stunt our Christian growth.

For me the important thing to remember is that God is there, whether I am in the valley or on the mountain. He has walked me through some terrifying shadows and I made it out the other side. He has also watched me on the mountain when life is "cruisy" and seen me squander the benefits of good health and abundant energy on completely frivolous pursuits. In the end, it's not where I am, but who I become that counts.

This Story Has A Happy Ending...

...but too many don't.

Chatterbox disappeared in a shopping centre a while back. One minute she was by my side and the next she was gone. Thankfully, after a desperate prayer, we found her outside another shop, crying.

What makes me feel sick - apart from the fact that she could have been gone forever - is that while I was running in and out of shops, yelling her name, everyone else in the shopping centre carried on as if nothing was happening. Including two mothers sitting peacefully and drinking their coffees with their own children safely in prams.

It was absolutely my own fault that I didn't keep a closer eye on Chatterbox. I don't hold anyone else responsible for that, but I find it disturbing that everyone in a busy shopping centre ignored the fact that I had clearly lost a child...and ignored the crying child separated from her mother.

What are we doing to ourselves? How is it that we are SO hardened to the pain of others that we hesitate to step in and help when we see a real need?

Only a few weeks after that incident I saw exactly the same thing happen to another mother. No one moved a muscle (except yes, I did, because I knew what it felt like!) to help, not even the friends she had been talking to minutes before.

I am so thankful that each passing day takes us one day closer to what this country really needs, not a change of government, but a change of heart.

Never Mine

One for the mothers (and their children)... Please forgive the erratic punctuation :)

You never were mine,
Though I held you inside.
You never were mine,
Though we laughed and we cried.

You never were mine
Through tumultuous years;
You never were mine
Through the laughter and tears.

You never were mine
As we sang many songs -
In sweet harmonies -
They made us feel strong.

You never were mine
When we choked with despair,
When sorrows weighed heavy,
And death held our stare.

You never were mine
Through the day or the night -
Though we walked side by side,
Ever seeking the light.

You never were mine
For a moment or breath -
You aren't mine in life...
Nor will be in death.

You never were mine,
You belong to the King
He loaned you to me,
Such a marvellous thing!

Though you never were mine,
I thank God every day
That He sent you to me
... And left you to stay!