We are the "Them" We Keep Complaining About

You know how it is - more often than not, when something goes wrong in our lives, it is Someone Else's fault. We often look at the world as being made up of two groups of people: "Them" and "Us". "We" are all the friends and family who generally support the way we live our lives and don't criticize our decisions... or the people who are too disinterested to care or too far away to interfere. "They" are the Others - the people who dare to disagree with us or do things that we consider unsound or immoral. We often refer to "them" as "people". For example, "I just don't get people who... (fill the blank with an activity or thought process that you disapprove of)".

Often "they" are politicians or authority figures in some way. The thing is, we can't change "them" - we can't make them listen to us or do things our way. We *can* change "Us" - how we react and what we do to make things better. Too often, when we are complaining about "them" we are actually perpetuating a problem by not taking responsibility at our end. For example, when we complain about how much stuff gets imported from China, but aren't willing to pay a higher price for something produced without exploitation of people or resources. When we complain about the health care system, but aren't willing to pay more tax to fund a better one, then WE are the "them" we keep complaining about. When we complain about companies that pollute our air and water ways, but keep buying their products - then we are the "them" we keep complaining about. When we complain about the exploitation of children, but dress our five-year-olds in string bikinis and mini-skirts - then we are the "them" we keep complaining about. Basically, when we complain about the general unfairness of life, but don't do EVERYthing in our power to share our prosperity (not just money, but all the freedoms and priveleges we enjoy without even giving it a second thought) with those less fortunate than ourselves... then we are, and always will be, the "them" we keep complaining about.

So let's quit complaining about "them" (because - lets face it - "they" outnumber us by, like, six billion to one) and start doing something about us!

Bring On Baby Brain!

OK, so I would love to know what changes go on in mother's brains after having a new baby. I've recently read a book on neuroplasticity called The Brain That Changes Itself - although I disagree with its statements regarding evolution (of course), I would definitely recommend it as a fascinating and enlightening read. Reading about just how much the brain can and does change based on input and experience makes me wonder about the whole "baby brain" phenomenon. ("Baby brain" being the standard excuse for illogical/irrational thinking in new mothers.)

See, I've noticed a pattern. Three things consistently happen to me after having a baby. First, my spatial awareness deteriorates. In practical terms that means I stub my toes a lot and run into furniture. I know, I know - that could be just fatigue, but it often happens during the day, not just when I'm stumbling around the house half-asleep at night. Second, my hands and feet "go to sleep" at random times, not just when I'm sitting cross-legged or lying on my arms. And third is the dreams.

Soon after having each baby I started having dreams that are almost hallucinations. I feel like I'm awake and I'm fully aware of where I am, but I hear things that aren't there - usually someone walking around the room or talking. I've finally learned that if I can't open my eyes or speak, then whatever I am hearing is not real. Still, it's a pretty terrifying experience - lying immobilised and mute while hearing a stranger walking around my house in the middle of the night. The interesting thing is that as soon as I hear a REAL sound my body is able to fully wake up - even though my rational brain can't distinguish the real sound from the imaginary.

So I'm just pondering - wondering why these things happen after the birth of a new baby? How does my brain redirect its functions after birth to better enable me to care for Baby? And why does this make me loopy in the process?! I can only marvel at the Mind that created us this way.

Patience or Pain? (Continued)

The really difficult part of this birth for me was the waiting. Patience is not my strength, and by the end of the first 24 hours I was in tears. Anxiety and uncertainty had set in, but what could I do except... wait?

Although the pain that followed was right at the limits of my endurance, it was far easier to handle emotionally than the previous stage. This experience certainly made me much more sympathetic to those who deal with low-level chronic pain... Especially if it's enough to keep them awake at night! Just one night of mild labour pains was bad enough - I simply can't imagine enduring that kind of thing day after day AND night after night - especially without the reward of a baby at the end!

ANYway, I had all these profound thoughts to share, but now they're all gone, so I'm just going to end it there and write about something else.

Patience or Pain?

This is the story of a birth.

Baby was born last week. It started at about 6pm on Monday night. To be honest, terms like "pre-labour" and "established labour" annoy me. Contractions are contractions, and regardless of how long or how far apart they are, as far as I'm concerned, contractions mean labour, plain and simple. *Technically* what I experienced for pretty much 24 hours was not "established" labour. However, it was enough to keep me awake the entire night, and since my previous two babies were born less than twelve hours after the first contraction, that felt like a LOOOONG time!

By Tuesday afternoon I was feeling physically and emotionally drained - I just wanted it all to be over. I figured intense, unrelenting pain had to be better than the waiting. At perhaps 6.30pm I labour finally became "established" and I had a bath for a bit of relief... at this point I was getting pretty... uncomfortable. About 7pm my sister, P, arrived for her visit, which we had planned the week before. Soon after that, the Raamonster and I headed out to the room in our garage, already set up with a mattress covered with a tarp and old sheets, ready to receive Baby in style. Meanwhile P kept our girlies occupied jumping on the trampoline. Soon after that my waters broke and contractions were really coming thick and fast. It was about at that point that I started to feel like I just couldn't cope and the screaming began! It felt like forever, but only a short time later, Baby's head was out, shortly followed by her body. What had taken so long in coming was finally over at 7.50pm on Tuesday night.

Raamonster went and got the girls who came to greet their new baby sister who was still wet and sticky. A little later I carried her over to the bed for a cuddle and to wait for the placenta to emerge. It wasn't really a comfortable position and the placenta wasn't as quick in coming out as with my others, so I decided to come inside and take a bath (and clean off baby who was now covered in poo!). It was just before I got into the bath that the placenta pretty much fell out (expertly caught by Raamonster - baby was still attached to the cord!), so we recruited P to cut the cord. P and I were both feeling light-headed at this point, but thankfully she managed to cut the cord *before* she fainted! ... and thankfully I didn't faint at all, since I was holding Baby! Then once Baby and I were cleaned up and dressed we all went to bed. To be continued...