About seven months ago I had the opportunity to hear a survivor of the Black Saturday bushfires speak about how he and his family had been impacted on that day. By the end I'm pretty sure all his listeners were in tears. He told us about the tragic death of his brother in the fire. He also related to us how the fires from two directions stopped at the edges of the grounds of the conference centre he himself runs with his wife. A lady in the audience commented: "God's hand was really on you that day". His response was unexpected, but profound. I can't remember his exact words, so I'll have to paraphrase "I don't like to say that. My brother was a Christian and a husband and father. Was God's hand not on him that day?"
Since that day, I've pondered this a number of times. I think the majority of Christians believe that God is with us in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health... in theory. In theory we have faith that God loves us more than we can comprehend. But do our lives reflect that in practice?
When bad things happen, I often find myself responding as if God weren't there. I'm not suggesting that we should abdicate responsibility for our lives. However, when things outside our control go wrong, we can't change the outcome next time by doing things differently. Tragedy may strike us, even if we have prayed for God's guidance and wisdom in a particular area of our lives. If we focus all our energies on simply trying to prevent the same thing happening again, then we are saying one of two things: either that God is not strong enough/doesn't care enough to protect us OR that we ourselves in some way ignored or rejected God's guidance. Certainly there are times when we haven't "listened" to God, but when we have, we need to trust that the outcome - no matter how unpleasant - was according to His will.
We are often quick to praise God for the times of quiet and comfort - do we also praise Him in times of disquiet and discomfort? Aren't both in our best interests? Doesn't He know what circumstances will best promote our growth? Just imagine if the apostle Paul had given up on preaching the gospel the first time he was ship-wrecked or beaten!
Too often I find myself caught up in the badness of a bad situation, instead of asking what I can learn or how I can grow through the pain. Christ said "...blessed are the persecuted..." "...blessed are you when they revile you and persecute you..." Do we believe Him? Christ said "I'll never leave you, nor forsake you". Do we believe Him? God's hand is on us when we submit ourselves to Him, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness or in health... God doesn't suddenly abandon us in floods or fires or earthquakes or grief. Do we believe that?
King David wrote, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me." Even in moments of the most profound tragedy, God's hand is on us. It's up to us to believe it.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Leave a Hole Behind You
I'm priveleged to know some pretty special people. A few years ago now we had a pretty awful car accident. Our car was written off at the beginning of an extended holiday. We received all kinds of offers of help - including the loan of another car - from people I barely knew. We were loved and looked after by people who knew the Raamonster's parents, just because we were related to them.
They, like a number of other people we know, leave a hole behind them wherever they go. Wherever they are, they give something to others. When they are gone, that something is deeply missed. Some people leave an obvious hole behind them because they are bubbly and enthusiastic and full of energy. Others leave a hole that is felt, but not seen or understood - a quiet, empty place. We don't always recognise the loss when someone moves to another area, or is absent from church, or goes back home at the end of a holiday. Even if we don't recognise it, we do feel it - whether it is a huge, gaping chasm, or a quiet, empty place. I wonder - am I the kind of person who leaves a hole behind me?*
Leaving a hole behind us is not about being well-known, or even well-liked - it's about giving the best of what we've got from God. The kind of hole I'm talking about comes from God's presence in our lives, not our own amazing personalities. It's not about being seen - it's about just being.
We live in a world where people are becoming increasingly separate and self-centred. Too often my interactions with other people are focused on doing business, not building relationships. My life can easily become little more than a series of tasks to be done as quickly and easily as possible so I can then retreat completely into a world of electronic entertainment (such as reading other people's blogs :)). Again, I have to ask myself, do I give to others? Do I invest myself in relationships? Do I leave a hole behind me?
I'd like to encourage you to look people in the eye and smile, to listen more and talk less... Wherever you go, when you leave, try to leave a hole behind you.
* I'm pondering, not fishing for compliments!
They, like a number of other people we know, leave a hole behind them wherever they go. Wherever they are, they give something to others. When they are gone, that something is deeply missed. Some people leave an obvious hole behind them because they are bubbly and enthusiastic and full of energy. Others leave a hole that is felt, but not seen or understood - a quiet, empty place. We don't always recognise the loss when someone moves to another area, or is absent from church, or goes back home at the end of a holiday. Even if we don't recognise it, we do feel it - whether it is a huge, gaping chasm, or a quiet, empty place. I wonder - am I the kind of person who leaves a hole behind me?*
Leaving a hole behind us is not about being well-known, or even well-liked - it's about giving the best of what we've got from God. The kind of hole I'm talking about comes from God's presence in our lives, not our own amazing personalities. It's not about being seen - it's about just being.
We live in a world where people are becoming increasingly separate and self-centred. Too often my interactions with other people are focused on doing business, not building relationships. My life can easily become little more than a series of tasks to be done as quickly and easily as possible so I can then retreat completely into a world of electronic entertainment (such as reading other people's blogs :)). Again, I have to ask myself, do I give to others? Do I invest myself in relationships? Do I leave a hole behind me?
I'd like to encourage you to look people in the eye and smile, to listen more and talk less... Wherever you go, when you leave, try to leave a hole behind you.
* I'm pondering, not fishing for compliments!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
How It's All Going
So what is life really like homeschooling with four young children - one being a newborn? Well... I can't tell you that, because we're on holidays right now!
Seriously, you know how it is when people say "how are you?" - generally I answer in one or two words, that encapsulate my mood at that particular moment. Usually my automatic answer is "good"... unless I'm very tired!
This is the more detailed answer for anyone out there who might be interested. Let's see...
Baby is sleeping well. This is Very Good. I would really like it if she would sleep, like, eight hours at a stretch (at night!), but I'm quite happy to settle for three (gotta be realistic!). That is Much Better than what we have had to deal with at times with the other three girls. Despite the bliss of three hours sleep at a time, I'm still tired, but hey, that's just life. It's just a stage (I think) until I get old enough to have insomnia. :)
Baby is mostly quite content and settled when she is awake and being cuddled by me. She's not so happy being cuddled by her sisters... but maybe that's something to do with the way they poke her eyes. :) She doesn't mind being on the floor (the compulsory "tummy time" commanded by Those In Authority - according to them all development happens in this position) - for a short period of time. Again, all to be expected. She is starting to smile and coo, which makes me absolutely melt. I have to say that I feel like I'm appreciating Baby more than I did the others because I really understand now how quickly the years pass. When the others were younger, I had loads of older people tell me that those early years slip away, but I think it's one of those things you don't really get until you've lived it for a while.
Our family and friends have been just fantastic in providing all kinds of support - taking the older girls on outings, cooking us meals, doing shopping... I really appreciate how thoughtful so many people have been.
Personally, I have to admit, I'm struggling with fatigue. Not exactly physical fatigue, but emotional exhaustion from the constant output required to keep our household running. It's the things that only I can do that can wear me out at times. Only I can be a mother to my children - no one else can substitute at the end of the day. No matter how many other people listen to my children, teach them, and nurture them - they still want me to listen to them, teach them and nurture them. It is something that I want to do, and that, in theory, I love to do. It's not a job I'm looking to outsource, but it is quite draining. I think the emotional "wear and tear" comes from that intense desire to do a good job, conflicting with the reality of my human frailties. How thankful I am that God fills the gaps! As an introvert, I find the sustained chatter that my girls enjoy exhausting. Actively listening to them is hard work! Having said all that, it is worthwhile work, and I think there are still areas that I'm "wasting" emotional energy on trivia, instead of committing it to the really important things.
When I think about the the challenges that other people have faced in their lives - war, starvation, abuse, chronic pain, and the like - I can feel hopelessly inadequate. It seems quite pathetic to find anything hard in my middle-class life, but ... well, I can't make my brain stop feeling tired. I can be positive and resist the great enemy of discouragement and work on being the best that I can be with God pushing me along.
There are days when I feel discouraged and overwhelmed. There are many days when I feel disappointed that I'm not investing as much in the girls' lives as I would like. There are SO many things that I want to teach them yesterday. Not academic facts, but things about life, the universe and everything. I think those feelings are a bit like getting knocked over by a big wave - rather than fighting desperately against a force far more powerful than myself, I need to just let it pass and then get my head back above water.
Anyway, for the most part I'm at peace and content with where life is, but I wanted to share some of these thoughts for others who might be in a similar place. Often the picture other people see of our lives is all bright and shiny and seemingly perfect - the reality is something much more tired, and worn, and imperfect.
And with that I will say good night!
Seriously, you know how it is when people say "how are you?" - generally I answer in one or two words, that encapsulate my mood at that particular moment. Usually my automatic answer is "good"... unless I'm very tired!
This is the more detailed answer for anyone out there who might be interested. Let's see...
Baby is sleeping well. This is Very Good. I would really like it if she would sleep, like, eight hours at a stretch (at night!), but I'm quite happy to settle for three (gotta be realistic!). That is Much Better than what we have had to deal with at times with the other three girls. Despite the bliss of three hours sleep at a time, I'm still tired, but hey, that's just life. It's just a stage (I think) until I get old enough to have insomnia. :)
Baby is mostly quite content and settled when she is awake and being cuddled by me. She's not so happy being cuddled by her sisters... but maybe that's something to do with the way they poke her eyes. :) She doesn't mind being on the floor (the compulsory "tummy time" commanded by Those In Authority - according to them all development happens in this position) - for a short period of time. Again, all to be expected. She is starting to smile and coo, which makes me absolutely melt. I have to say that I feel like I'm appreciating Baby more than I did the others because I really understand now how quickly the years pass. When the others were younger, I had loads of older people tell me that those early years slip away, but I think it's one of those things you don't really get until you've lived it for a while.
Our family and friends have been just fantastic in providing all kinds of support - taking the older girls on outings, cooking us meals, doing shopping... I really appreciate how thoughtful so many people have been.
Personally, I have to admit, I'm struggling with fatigue. Not exactly physical fatigue, but emotional exhaustion from the constant output required to keep our household running. It's the things that only I can do that can wear me out at times. Only I can be a mother to my children - no one else can substitute at the end of the day. No matter how many other people listen to my children, teach them, and nurture them - they still want me to listen to them, teach them and nurture them. It is something that I want to do, and that, in theory, I love to do. It's not a job I'm looking to outsource, but it is quite draining. I think the emotional "wear and tear" comes from that intense desire to do a good job, conflicting with the reality of my human frailties. How thankful I am that God fills the gaps! As an introvert, I find the sustained chatter that my girls enjoy exhausting. Actively listening to them is hard work! Having said all that, it is worthwhile work, and I think there are still areas that I'm "wasting" emotional energy on trivia, instead of committing it to the really important things.
When I think about the the challenges that other people have faced in their lives - war, starvation, abuse, chronic pain, and the like - I can feel hopelessly inadequate. It seems quite pathetic to find anything hard in my middle-class life, but ... well, I can't make my brain stop feeling tired. I can be positive and resist the great enemy of discouragement and work on being the best that I can be with God pushing me along.
There are days when I feel discouraged and overwhelmed. There are many days when I feel disappointed that I'm not investing as much in the girls' lives as I would like. There are SO many things that I want to teach them yesterday. Not academic facts, but things about life, the universe and everything. I think those feelings are a bit like getting knocked over by a big wave - rather than fighting desperately against a force far more powerful than myself, I need to just let it pass and then get my head back above water.
Anyway, for the most part I'm at peace and content with where life is, but I wanted to share some of these thoughts for others who might be in a similar place. Often the picture other people see of our lives is all bright and shiny and seemingly perfect - the reality is something much more tired, and worn, and imperfect.
And with that I will say good night!
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