When They Ask Why

It's a perennial frustration of homeschoolers around the world - the seemingly endless questions about qualifications (ours), socialization (our kids' - though perhaps we should be asked about our socialization!), stress (how will we manage?), learning to cope with the "real" world... the list goes on (and on, and on...)

It can be hard to respond graciously when almost-strangers start interrogating you with the apparent intent of leaving no stone unturned.

I'm incredibly fortunate to have a very supportive family, including among those who have decided to send their own kids to school. For a lot of homeschoolers, family gatherings can be a battleground to prove their worth as both parents and teachers. I'm not going to pretend that I have any idea what that's really like, because I haven't experienced it first-hand, so I know I don't.

I do have some experience with being asked all kinds of questions by mere acquaintances, and I thought I'd share how I "cope". (The most interesting question I've ever had was: "do you find that easier, then?" Which was asked on two different occasions - several years apart - by the same person!)

Here are my tips for keeping your cool when questioned (feel free to add to the list!):

1) Believe the best you can about the questioner. Try not to assume that your integrity and sanity is being questioned. Many people are really just curious or genuinely interested, even if they do rub you up the wrong way.

2) Don't set out to prove yourself. While we may feel compelled to convince others that we are doing a good job, it can come across as a put-down to other parents if we start rabbiting on about all the fabulous things we and our kids are doing (subtly implying that they aren't doing such a great job). Conversations (and friendships) are likely to go down-hill from there.

3) Feel free to change the subject. If it's getting uncomfortable, encourage the other person to talk about positive things that their kids are doing.

4) Seek to understand. If someone seems hostile, maybe it's worth getting to the bottom of that hostility. More than likely it's not about you at all, but maybe there's something bothering them that they need to talk about (without feeling like your thinking, "well if you'd just take your kids out of school...").

5) Don't be afraid to admit you don't have all the answers. Who likes a know-it-all, anyway? Being arrogant (yep, seriously guilty of that one here) really doesn't help anything (okay, so that's completely obvious, I know - I guess I'm writing that for myself more than anyone else!).

6) Be honest! I tell people about my bad days too. Homeschooling isn't the answer to every problem the earth has ever seen, and others may get a little annoyed (to say the least) if we give that impression.

7) Be willing to walk away. Okay, so there will be a few people out there who just want to cut you down to make themselves feel better about their own choices (nothing to do with homeschooling and everything to do with insecurity) - when you meet one of them, it's best to find a way to walk away politely, but as soon as possible.

8) Above all, remember why you are here. Before and beyond homeschooling, I am a follower of Christ, and I want people to know that any good they see in my life is not a result of a magical homeschooling formula, but rather, that it is by the grace of God.

God bless your journey, wherever it takes you!

Camping...

Just a few photos of our camping trip to a farm that belongs to family friends. A highlight was a visit to an animal farm that got the girls scheming about how they can have a pet goat.

The weather was beautiful, the river was cool, and I was blessed to have Raamonster's parents helping me out in every way imaginable. The only sad part was that the Raamonster could only come for two days because of his work commitments.