I had an "aha" moment the other day. I suddenly had a profound realisation of how deeply we influence our children when we're just... living.
It was watching my oldest daughter cuddle up to her great-grandmother on her bed in the nursing home. She was stroking "Oma's" arm and gazing lovingly at her. It was a beautiful moment - especially when I realised that sometimes we parents (by the grace of God) get something right when raising our children.
I was wondering why this oldest daughter of mine is so affectionate towards the elderly. One of her favourite parts of a recent trip up to Queensland with her grandparents was the time she spent with a senior friend of the family. As I was pondering, I suddenly remembered that for a short time while Miss Curie was a baby we made regular visits to a nursing home that was very close to our house at the time. I felt at the time that I needed to do something useful, and taking my baby to a nursing home seemed like a good idea - so I did. When she was just 13 months old we moved and the nursing home visits ended, but it seems that the effects were permanent.
At the time of those visits I had a vague idea that this was a good way to bring up my little girl to be loving and accepting of people no matter what they look like, but I had completely forgotten about it since then... Until I watched her cuddling her beloved Oma as she had done so many times before.
Maybe I'm placing too much significance on those nursing home visits... Come to think of it, we were also making regular visits to hospital around that time because Oma was seriously unwell.
Maybe Miss Curie would have been like that anyway. Maybe... And maybe her sensitivity to smells and tastes has nothing to do with my Dad opening all 32 of the spice jars in our spice rack one at a time and holding them under her nose while telling her the name of each spice - when she was three months old. Maybe. But I'm starting to be convinced that our kids learn what we teach them - especially when we don't think we're teaching them anything at all.
2 comments:
Yes, our children learn best by imitating us, not by listening to our words. Any change I want to see in my children, I must first model consistently. This is our greatest challenge as parents.
Yes, I'm realising that being a good parent is defined by who I am as a *person* - I should have exactly the same goals for personal growth now as I would if I didn't have any kids at all. We can't just turn our kids into what we want them to be, but we can show them a way that works.
Post a Comment