Life in the Trenches

Let's face it, for many of us Mums (the ones I talk to, anyway - I am yet to meet a Supermum, possibly because she's too busy being perfect to fit in a social life) life can seem like a war zone. It seems pretty often when we get together we have something to vent about.

I'm taking the time writing this to remind myself who the enemy is. Many of us are full of pent-up frustrations. We have the wonderful moments with our children, but I don't know anyone who doesn't have days when they enjoy their kids just that little bit more when they're asleep. To admit this out loud (or in writing) seems shocking. These bundles of joy are flesh of our flesh and bone of our bones, how is it that the very sight of them doesn't fill us with wonder and joy, even when they are that wee bit challenging? How is it that, in fact, our baser instincts drive us to practically explode with rage over the dirty laundry on the floor, or the third glass of milk spilt in the course of ten minutes, or the clothing shoved hastily in the drawer instead of properly folded?

WHO is the enemy? We have raised these children from helpless infants. We are working to build their character. They are our equals in awesome potential. They are our equals in human value. We are nourishing and nurturing them in the hope and belief that they can become something great if they choose Right. Why is this incredible responsibility and opportunity such a dreary grind sometimes?

WHO IS the enemy? Many of us actively chose to be parents (I think at least some of this applies to Dads as well, even though I don't happen to be one myself). The birth of each child was often anticipated with excitement. Many of us pored over pregnancy books studying each stage of development, mentally measuring our unborn child each week. We planned all the awful things we would NEVER do as parents, and all the wonderful things we WOULD do. What happened to that dream? Is it gone? Are we simply reduced to surviving day by day, gritting our teeth and waiting for the day our Little Treasures walk out the door so we can cuddle up to photo albums and relive the beautiful moments we didn't have time to live the first time round?

My mistake so often is to think that my children are the enemy. I don't say it to myself, and it's horrible to admit, but if I truthfully examine our bad days, by my actions, I am treating my children as the enemy.

I think there are many enemies in the war zone of our lives. Some people, I'm sure, would argue that life isn't a war zone at all. They have a few minor skirmishes, but overall enjoy peace. I'm not satisfied with that. As long as there are people starving, or being sold into slavery, or in pain, or aching from loneliness or broken relationships - as long as there is any suffering - I am at war. I am at war against all the forces to make me part of what this world is. There are only two choices - to be part of what the world is, or to be part of what it is going to become.

There are many enemies, but who is THE Enemy? The enemy is one who was once called a Light-bringer and I now know by the name of Satan. Since most people don't believe he really exists, he is a very effective enemy, especially against the family. He wants us to direct our attacks at each other and if we don't believe he is there, that is just what we will do.

It may seem like I'm writing out of discouragement, or even despair, but I'm not. I write with hope and conviction. My Ally is much more powerful than my enemy. If I depend on God and maintain the vision and dream of where our family is headed, then nothing can stop me. It is when I lose that vision, when it is blurred by battle fatigue, that I forget the real enemy.

Having a vision beyond ballet and soccer and spelling and maths and dirty laundry and dirty dishes doesn't mean that life is going to get easy. It just gives us the courage to keep pushing through because there is a much bigger and better purpose than our children becoming aeronautical engineers. And that vision is for our children as well. KNOWING that there is something beyond teething and teen angst will help get them through OUR bad attitudes and obnoxious behaviour.

I look forward to letting my children know day by day that we're on the same side and marching with them towards a future that is brighter than any of us can begin to imagine.

PS The BEST thing about this vision is the absolute assurance that it is ultimately available for everyone, even those who die convinced that the bible is no more than a great work of historical fiction.