Remember Your Reasons

At some point in our lives we all have to face up to some big decisions. It's easy to reach a crossroads and panic because the "right" direction doesn't seem clear. If there is something that I've learned in the last few years, it's the importance of why I am doing what I'm doing.

Why am I at this place in my life? Did I get here by "flying by the seat of my pants", or was there a purpose when I started on this journey?

We first considered homeschooling because The Raamonster and I both had very bad school experiences. By the time we actually started homeschooling it was because we wanted to protect our kids from bad influences. Now we continue to homeschool because we want to instill real values in our children and train them up in growing their strengths and overcoming their weaknesses in a way that honours God. Prayerful consideration of God's purpose for our lives has led us to believe that homeschooling is the best way to do this right now.

There are many days when I wake up wondering if I shouldn't just send the kids to school. It seems easier. I feel like I would have so much more freedom to pursue my dreams. But what are my flimsy dreams worth if I don't do my very best work of being a servant of God, wife and mother? Exactly nothing.

There are days when I read or hear about how other families homeschool and I suddenly feel utterly inadequate and wonder if I should be teaching Latin, or Sign Language, or if we should do more sport. Then I remember my reasons for being in this place. They are nothing to do with creating child prodigies, they are nothing to do with the Education Department's arbitrary schedule of learning and they are nothing to do with "keeping up" with everyone else.

If my reasons were to keep our children in line with what they would learn in the school system, then I'm way off track. If my reasons were to "get ahead" so they can "compete" with their peers to get the best available jobs when they grow up, then I'm going in the wrong direction. If my reasons were to prove to the world that home educated children are "normal", then I've failed dismally. If my reasons were to prove to the world what a competent - and in fact outstanding - mother I am, then I really need to go find myself an audience that is interested.

I keep reminding myself of our reasons. We homeschool so we can nurture our children like tender young plants. As I have discovered recently, chucking seeds in the ground and leaving them to themselves is not a very successful way of gardening. A "survival of the fittest" approach is not satisfactory unless I want to eat only pigweed, nettles and borage for the rest of my life. Without protection, precious seedlings are rapidly destroyed by slugs, snails, earwigs, chickens, sparrows... the list goes on. Likewise, we homeschool because we aren't prepared to just ... chuck our children out in the world and see what happens (I'm not having a go that people who send their kids to school - just reflecting on what the consequences of going to school are likely to be for our own children at their age). For others, perhaps choosing a particular school or getting actively involved in the school is their way of nurturing and protecting those tender little plants.

The important thing is the why. If our goals for our children are centred on academic success (e.g. we choose a school based on Naplan test scores or our homeschool timetable is focused on "getting things done"), we shouldn't be disappointed when Susie has trouble making friends. She has simply adopted our standards. If our goals for our children are based on being "normal" (e.g. we let them watch a questionable program because it's what every kid watches), we shouldn't be surprised when Michael is disrespectful and disdains our values ... because that's what every kid does.

Whatever path you choose for your family, I would urge you - when a crisis hits - remember your reasons. Remember how you got here in the first place. It won't necessarily mean that you won't choose a new direction, but if you do choose a new direction it won't be just because you got scared. Or just because you got tired. Or just because you got frustrated. It will be because the new path will actually take you where you want to go.