Is Carbon Dioxide Really The Problem?

The climate change discussion brings me to tears.  Literally.  I'm probably not going where you think I am with this, so please read on.

What causes me pain is not the conflict about who or what causes changing climate conditions, although the older I get the more I hate conflict.  What hurts is all the things that aren't being said.  Things like: what really matters is not the planet we are living on, but all the other people who are living here with us.  Things like: the choices we make impact other people around us - near and far - and every. single. one. of those people matters. An actual human being, possibly a child, is making the fabulous "eco friendly" (ahem) stuff, which may well be full of toxic chemicals in order to make it energy-saving.  That person matters.  Things like: any decision we make that costs a piece of someone else's life or livelihood is wrong, whether the byproduct is carbon dioxide or ... something else toxic.

I hate how the terms "eco friendly" and "carbon offset" and "energy efficient" have become marketing tools that play on our guilt about hurting the planet... while people are suffering.  Is carbon dioxide really the problem when coal-fired power plants pump out all kinds of poisons other than carbon dioxide into the air and farm run-off and industrial byproducts pollute our waterways?  How about we just learn to live with less stuff?  How about we learn to be a little less comfortable?  How about we stop buying "conveniences" that poison the men, women, and children making them?  If we focus simply on trying not to hurt other people with our selfish indulgences, then I'm 99% sure we would cut carbon dioxide emissions down a heap.  On the other hand, if we simply try to cut down carbon dioxide emissions a heap, I'm pretty sure we'll still hurt a whole bunch of other human beings with our selfish indulgences.

Yep, there are a whole bunch of fingers here pointing straight back at me.  I've gone round in circles trying to buy the "right" stuff, when really, I just need to buy less of it.  Even (gulp) books. 

I try to buy local.  I try to walk instead of drive.  We have solar (although I'm not convinced that it's that awesome - how much energy goes into making those solar cells (shipped from overseas, by the way), and what toxic byproducts result from the process?)  But in the end, my decisions need to be based on how my life is impacting others as a whole.  Am I living a life of greed and self-indulgence?  Or am I trying to give in a meaningful way, wherever and whenever I can?  If the value of my life becomes all about my carbon footprint, then I'm missing a whole lot of other important stuff.

As a follower of Jesus Christ, I'm convinced that what this world needs is not merely for peoples' behaviour to change, but for their hearts to change.  Without a change of heart in all the people of the world, the climate situation is hopeless.  And to be honest, I just can't see that the biggest problem this world has (to put it overly simplisticly) is the temperature.  Children all over the world (even prosperous western nations) are being abused, exploited and trafficked in ways that defy belief.  Unborn children are being cut into pieces inside their own mothers' wombs at the consent of their own mothers... to the extent that the annihilation of the unborn is booming business.  The poorest and most vulnerable people of the world are being manipulated into gambling away the little they have for the profit of big investors.  Somehow I can't see how prolonging the "life" of the earth should be a priority over these crimes against humanity.

When my husband looked into "ethical investments" they were all focused on companies that were "environmentally friendly".  My blood boils to think that apparently so few people care about the impact of their investments on actual human beings - an "ethical" investment may exploit children and the poor, but at least it leaves a small carbon footprint?  Seriously?!

I guess you can probably tell I'm angry and sad.  More than anything, the sad wins.  I ache for the change that Jesus Christ alone can bring.  In the meantime, I'm striving to live my life in a way that gives others a tiny glimpse of just what that change will mean.  This is not about a philosophical question of who or what controls the weather and how (and by the way, in the end, I'm convinced that God has way more power than we puny human beings have the arrogance to credit ourselves with):  this is about what's more important to me - God's people or my stuff?

What We Should

"With great power comes great responsibility."  Remember that saying from Spiderman? (Now there's a movie I plan never to watch again.)  Well.  It's true, isn't it?  And true of being a parent.  As parents we have enormous power, and most of us take the responsibilty that goes with it very seriously.

We wonder whether we should make our children practise their music, or let them decide.  We ask ourselves whether swimming lessons or ball sports are more important.  We agonise over the perfect balance between innocence and being aware of potential dangers in the world around them.  We argue back and forth among ourselves over food, screen time, independence, safety, attachment, breastfeeding - in fact, every imaginable facet of parenting becomes subject to a squillion conflicting "rules" dictated to befuddled parents by a myriad of "experts".

Once again, though, we are asking ourselves the Wrong Questions.  There is no one authoratitative resource which defines the ideal diet, the perfect balance of extracurricular activities and the exact formula for screen time.  In its own unique way, though, the Bible tells us exactly what we should do.  The big, central question for every parent, is exactly the same as the big, central question for every human being: "what should I become?" (And, of course, there are a whole bunch of other questions that go along with that, but - interestingly - "should we have pizza for dinner tonight?" is not one of them.)

Being a good parent is all about being a good person.  And being a good person is comprehensively defined by the Bible.  It starts with realising you can't actually be a good person without God working in your life, front and centre.  And then there are a whole pile of principles that apply to every human relationship - including the parent-child relationship.  God's definition of Love in 1 Corinthians 13 is a great place to start.

Let me digress a little.  We have a bad habit of defining parental success by the outcomes in the lives of our children.  Ever heard a parent say something like: "we tried everything to make Johnny stop hitting his sister, but nothing worked"?  The implication is that it's our job to make our children do what is right... and that somehow that will turn them into good people.  To a limited extent we can control and change our children's behaviour when they're young, but shouldn't our goal be to teach them what is right and what is wrong (including administering painful consequences, to demonstrate clearly that sin causes pain) and hope like mad that they will choose to do what is right?  That sounds terrifying, but sooner or later, our children will choose for themselves, whether we like it or not, and if we spent their lives forcing them to do what's right, they may not choose the right so readily as we might hope.

We may do everything humanly possible to be good parents... and have children who grow up to make bad choices and end up in jail.  On the other hand, we could be utterly selfish and yet churn out kids who become doctors who choose to give freely of their services in third-world countries.  The choices our children ultimately make don't define our success (or failure) as parents.  There are countless people who have risen above a horrible upbringing to become outstanding leaders.  Unfortunately, the reverse is also true.

Soooo, getting back to the main point, the truest definition of our success (or not) as parents, is whether (or not) we become what we should.  It's whether (or not) we do what we should.  It's whether (or not) we live as we should.  If we are really and truly guided by the principle of loving others as ourselves and God most of all, then the question of how many serves of veges our kids have eaten today fade into insignificance.  The right actions will naturally flow from the right frame of mind.

Of course, none of us will ever love our children perfectly in this lifetime, because we are still human.  But if we are truly motivated to become what we should, then in the grand scheme of things - regardless of what our children choose to do with their lives - we will truly have succeeded.

If It Really Matters...

I have a confession to make. I'm pedantic. As a result, I have a pet hate of snappy sayings. One of my most disliked is: "there's no such thing as can't" or "nothing's impossible".

When someone says either of those to me, I really feel like saying something like: "so you're saying I'm just not trying hard enough to sprout purple feathers and fly to the moon?" Obviously there are many things that I can't do - that are impossible - such as give birth to a walrus (OK, so maybe science will get there one day, but I really doubt it) or turn everything I touch into mouldy cheese, or turn a raging cyclone into a mild summer breeze.

What is true, is what the Bible says: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I like that much, much better - mainly because it's God's word, not something that impatient adults make up to get kids to try harder. (Yes, I know that many people say these things with the best of intentions and I really do appreciate that, but let's stick to telling kids the things that are really true.)

I paraphrase that as: "if it's really important, it can be done. If it can't be done, it's not really important." I have to warn you, though, that only works if you're relying on God's strength instead of your own. God does let us fall flat on our faces and fail at the truly important things to teach us to rely on him (that all important phrase: "through Christ who strengthens me"). How do I know? Because it's happened to me. I've failed at being patient or kind to my husband or children because I was leaning on my own pitiful strength. I know that patience and kindness matter because the Bible says so.

The thing is, we can live our lives full of angst over all the important things that seem impossible... or over the impossible things that seem important... Or we can let go of our own ideas of important and impossible and let God decide what really needs to be done. Not just in the moments of despair and desperation, but every moment of every day.

The results are sure to be awesome.

Remember Your Reasons

At some point in our lives we all have to face up to some big decisions. It's easy to reach a crossroads and panic because the "right" direction doesn't seem clear. If there is something that I've learned in the last few years, it's the importance of why I am doing what I'm doing.

Why am I at this place in my life? Did I get here by "flying by the seat of my pants", or was there a purpose when I started on this journey?

We first considered homeschooling because The Raamonster and I both had very bad school experiences. By the time we actually started homeschooling it was because we wanted to protect our kids from bad influences. Now we continue to homeschool because we want to instill real values in our children and train them up in growing their strengths and overcoming their weaknesses in a way that honours God. Prayerful consideration of God's purpose for our lives has led us to believe that homeschooling is the best way to do this right now.

There are many days when I wake up wondering if I shouldn't just send the kids to school. It seems easier. I feel like I would have so much more freedom to pursue my dreams. But what are my flimsy dreams worth if I don't do my very best work of being a servant of God, wife and mother? Exactly nothing.

There are days when I read or hear about how other families homeschool and I suddenly feel utterly inadequate and wonder if I should be teaching Latin, or Sign Language, or if we should do more sport. Then I remember my reasons for being in this place. They are nothing to do with creating child prodigies, they are nothing to do with the Education Department's arbitrary schedule of learning and they are nothing to do with "keeping up" with everyone else.

If my reasons were to keep our children in line with what they would learn in the school system, then I'm way off track. If my reasons were to "get ahead" so they can "compete" with their peers to get the best available jobs when they grow up, then I'm going in the wrong direction. If my reasons were to prove to the world that home educated children are "normal", then I've failed dismally. If my reasons were to prove to the world what a competent - and in fact outstanding - mother I am, then I really need to go find myself an audience that is interested.

I keep reminding myself of our reasons. We homeschool so we can nurture our children like tender young plants. As I have discovered recently, chucking seeds in the ground and leaving them to themselves is not a very successful way of gardening. A "survival of the fittest" approach is not satisfactory unless I want to eat only pigweed, nettles and borage for the rest of my life. Without protection, precious seedlings are rapidly destroyed by slugs, snails, earwigs, chickens, sparrows... the list goes on. Likewise, we homeschool because we aren't prepared to just ... chuck our children out in the world and see what happens (I'm not having a go that people who send their kids to school - just reflecting on what the consequences of going to school are likely to be for our own children at their age). For others, perhaps choosing a particular school or getting actively involved in the school is their way of nurturing and protecting those tender little plants.

The important thing is the why. If our goals for our children are centred on academic success (e.g. we choose a school based on Naplan test scores or our homeschool timetable is focused on "getting things done"), we shouldn't be disappointed when Susie has trouble making friends. She has simply adopted our standards. If our goals for our children are based on being "normal" (e.g. we let them watch a questionable program because it's what every kid watches), we shouldn't be surprised when Michael is disrespectful and disdains our values ... because that's what every kid does.

Whatever path you choose for your family, I would urge you - when a crisis hits - remember your reasons. Remember how you got here in the first place. It won't necessarily mean that you won't choose a new direction, but if you do choose a new direction it won't be just because you got scared. Or just because you got tired. Or just because you got frustrated. It will be because the new path will actually take you where you want to go.

Juggling Chainsaws

Toddlers are hard work. Some more so than others. Trying to homeschool older children while keeping a toddler safely occupied and running a household is a mammoth task. For some more than for others.

There are many wonderful suggestions for dealing with toddlers and preschoolers while homeschooling, but for many of us they are simply unrealistic. Some are too expensive, some too messy, some rely on resources, space or storage that many of us don't have. Some (dare I say it) come from mothers who actually weren't homeschooling when their youngest were toddlers. And some rely on having the kind of child who will not scream and try to claw their way out of any kind of restraint. The kind of child who has the fine motor control and intelligence necessary to plug in appliances and turn them on. The kind of child who has the strength of will of a pit-bull. The kind of child who, when sent outside, will eat dirt and then bring some inside to scatter randomly throughout the house.

This is not a cop-out - I'm not throwing up my hands and giving up on making any effort at reining in the toddler. She is being taught, step by step, what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. However, this process takes precious time and energy, and while she is learning these lessons, there is a lot of chaos. Even with the very best of efforts (and I'll be the first to admit, that I often don't put in my best effort, to my shame), there is no quick fix for a strong-willed toddler - no magic potion for ensuring that the older kids get a fair share of Mum's attention.

Such children, of course, need to be discipled (I use that word deliberately, because I'm talking about more than simply punishing for bad behaviour). That process, of necessity, takes time away from the teaching of older children.

Several months ago, our family watched a street performer juggling chainsaws. That image, for me, represents my life at the moment. No, this isn't the cue to send the older kids to school. Our reasons for homeschooling them remain as strong as ever. I just have to keep slogging away, keep doing my job as God leads me, regardless of how hard it gets. Right is never impossible. As long as I stick close to God, He will enable me to throw the necessary mountains into the sea. He will equip me to juggle chainsaws.

Homeschooling - It's Not Who We Are

I've been intrigued a couple of times recently when people I barely know - and to whom I didn't think I'd ever mentioned homeschooling - have asked about how I'm going teaching the girls... Intrigued, and, in a funny way, slightly troubled.

See, homeschooling is something we do, but I would hate anyone to think that it's who we are. I don't want my identity in the world at large to be encapsulated by the phrase "homeschooling mother of four".

I believe that homeschooling is best for my children, but it's not something I believe in. I hope that the defining feature of my life is my belief that the God Who created the universe has an awesome plan for every man, woman and child on the planet.

I home educate our precious daughters because the education establishment (and to be honest, I believe this is true of christian schools as well) is completely at odds with our beliefs and values - because "out there" our children would be told that they need to accept all belief systems as equally valuable... which kinda doesn't work. The God of the Bible most definitely doesn't tolerate competitors. (If I had created the universe I certainly wouldn't want a statue getting the credit for my work!)

I love having the opportunity to educate "our" girls at home and teach them Biblical values, but homeschooling isn't who we are - it's what we do because of who we are.

Never Mine

One for the mothers (and their children)... Please forgive the erratic punctuation :)

You never were mine,
Though I held you inside.
You never were mine,
Though we laughed and we cried.

You never were mine
Through tumultuous years;
You never were mine
Through the laughter and tears.

You never were mine
As we sang many songs -
In sweet harmonies -
They made us feel strong.

You never were mine
When we choked with despair,
When sorrows weighed heavy,
And death held our stare.

You never were mine
Through the day or the night -
Though we walked side by side,
Ever seeking the light.

You never were mine
For a moment or breath -
You aren't mine in life...
Nor will be in death.

You never were mine,
You belong to the King
He loaned you to me,
Such a marvellous thing!

Though you never were mine,
I thank God every day
That He sent you to me
... And left you to stay!

Grace Is Not A Rubbish Bin

I often hear Christians talk about grace. Sadly, there are times when it seems to be brought up as a justification for doing the wrong thing. While grace does cover our sins, I think we Christians must take care not to use grace as an excuse for all our downfalls or a license to carry on our lives, unchanging.

Grace is not a rubbish bin for us to put in a corner and throw all of our spiritual garbage into. Nor is it a magic lamp that will exempt us from the consequences of our mistakes. Grace is a beautiful gift from the Creator Himself which deserves a place of honour in our homes. It is not the "too-hard-basket" where we put all the things that need to change, but require a lot of hard work. Rather, the magnitude and preciousness of this gift should drive us to grow spiritually far beyond what we would be humanly capable of.

Too often, by our words or actions, we can find ourselves treating Christ's perfect and immeasurable sacrifice with contempt. Grace deserves a place on the mantelpiece, not under the kitchen sink.